June 4th, 2023
My brain is like wet cotton candy (colorful and structurally unstable), but I want to thank everybody for this weekend, and tell a sweet little story about how what we do, every day and anywhere, matters.
First, the gratitude: two high fives and a giant hug to everybody who came out to MinnesotaCon and made it so special. I love the reunions and the new unions and it’s always bittersweet to go, like the last day of school.
Now, the story: yesterday, I was having a conversation with a friend when I heard my name being called through a speaker behind me. The voice belonged to a man dressed like Doc Brown from Back to the Future and he was standing next to his DeLorean, and I am making none of this up.
He told me he was in line to speak to me next.
Intrigued, I finished one chat and turned around to have another; Doc Brown was standing with a woman, and I realized they both looked familiar. They asked if I remembered them, too.
Almost a year ago, they were on their second date, having lunch before a movie at a restaurant called Harry’s. I was their server.
They were going to Jurassic World and dressed for the occasion, with spot-on cosplay. I sensed fellow nerds; I got to know them and we had a nice afternoon and, a year later, they are both still together and remember my first name.
Last night at a post-con dinner we were talking about what it means to make an impact; more often than not, we think about the quantity of people we want to reach without considering the quality.
But it’s the opposite that’s true.
We can fall into predictable rhythms and perform our lives on auto-pilot; we get good at our jobs and develop systems to get through days with the least amount of mental or emotional resistance.
And that’s the opposite of being present.
On the first day of the con, somebody stopped by my table to ask when more Weirdos was coming. She was really kind with her words about the graphic novel, and commented on its depth, adding that she shares the book with all her friends.
And that’s what kindness is. It’s a book and you never know how far it’s going to go.
Kindness isn’t the same as being nice; it’s being here. It can be exchanging sarcastic jokes, or listening to someone else’s story, or sharing your own, or making somebody feel sane in an increasingly insane world.
The five people you’re kind to today might take your kindness and share it with five more, and on and on and on.
And this only happens when we’re present, no matter what it is we’re doing.
I’m happy I was present during that lunch on their second date and it was such a nice experience that, a year later, when I walked past their time machine, they remembered my name and wanted to share that memory with me again.
It made me feel even better to learn that their first date was at Red Lobster, and they don’t remember the server they had there at all.
The Den 
Glad you had a fun con!
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