February 28th, 2026
The key is to keep your feet warm.
This is my second year in a row going to the Loons home opener (yes, Allianz Field is an outdoor stadium; yes, our season currently begins in February). Last year, I wore normal ass socks inside normal ass shoes and I hung on to dear life like poor Jack Dawson; this year, I wore two pairs of socks inside winter boots that housed warming insoles and I have never been happier outside in 20° weather.
For the past few years, Minnesota United FC games have been my happy place. The world has been real dark and heavy and my personal life has been chaotic and ridiculously busy, but at a match I can genuinely achieve two halves worth of peace. I love the space and the people and the food and the sport itself and the phenomenal vibe all these parts combine to create, like a soccer Megazord.
I’m not saying that there’s no toxicity to be found here; I’m sure there is, somewhere. But, far and wide, I find Loons fans to be the most inclusive, intelligent and kind fans in sports. (Check out that massive Rebel Loon banner with the classic Andor quote: “We have friends everywhere.”)
Anyway, what an opener: our team looks fiesty as hell this year and we walked away with a 1-0 win and three more points on the board. I already have tickets to another game in May and am always looking to go to more. (This is my not-so-subtle way of letting everyone know that I’m your guy if you got an extra ticket. I’ll even buy you my favorite beignets.)
Also: I finally ran into PK at Allianz. Kids, dreams really do come true. Let’s have a hell of season.
The Den 