April 7th, 2019
I’m a feminist.
For a long time, I couldn’t figure out why I related to girls and women so much; or why I felt like I failed as a man so often.
But I’ve been doing some deep digging and soul excavating lately, and it’s all become very clear to me: I am a feminist because dudes have done some really shitty things to me and the people I love over the course of my life. And worse, a lot of the older boys and men in my life, who I respected or were supposed to teach me how to be a “man,” were not deserving or giving of respect, and they taught me all the wrong things.
This isn’t a generalizing post about hating men; it’s also not a finger point. I’ve done terrible things; not because anybody made me, but because I learned the wrong things from the wrong people. The differential factor, however, is this: I am willing to apologize, and learn, and change. And I don’t see that in as many men as I want to. And that pisses me off even more, and makes me feel guilty, because I feel like it’s my fault, because I share a gender. But at least the shame drives me to know that I’m conscientious of this; it helps me know that I have empathy, and I am a feminist.
I don’t have a real goal with this post, other than this: I’m a straight, white male, and even though I don’t have all of the answers or maybe even one answer, I am your ally. And if I’m your ally, and I can say that proudly and with purpose, then maybe that means you have a lot of allies out there, and maybe there is more of us than any of us realize. And that idea alone makes me hopeful.
With a lot of ❤,
Your friend.
The Den 