April 22nd, 2022
If I had to describe my relationship with music with an outdated Facebook descriptor, it would be complicated.
Some of that stems from the time in my life when I used to make it, which I consider a failure on a number of levels; some of it is rooted in having parents who couldn’t hear it, which gave me guilt about it, and means I lacked a traditional, generational connection to it.
Regardless, music means a lot to me, and it’s a big part of my life.
And that means it has the power to create terribly emotional moments and stir shit up in me that I didn’t know was unsettled.
Tessa Violet made a moment like that tonight.
After a few songs at the Varsity Theater this evening (including one dedicated to me, an alcoholic), she shared that she was having a bad day.
It was a casually honest comment, but it turned the song she sang next, Interlude III, into something I will never forget.
The lyrics spoke exactly to how I’ve been feeling lately, and the way she felt them and gave them to us brought me to more tears than the last episode of This Is Us.
I needed it.
I hope she knows how much it meant.
Here’s the words, and I recommend looking up the song if you dig them.
I woke up today, knowing no one really knows me
Don’t know what to say
All I know is that I’m lonely
But I don’t fuck around
I remove you with a cleft
But now I’ve put you down, I’m afraid I’ve nothing left
God, I want a touch of something new
Something I can keep
All I know is everything I do don’t bare me no relief
Smile button on
I bought it off the shelf
And I’ve been telling all my friends I’ve just been working on myself
Wish that I could learn to trust someone would want to put me first
But I can’t deign to hope while I’m bracing for the worst
God, I want a touch of something new
Something I can keep
All I know is everything I do don’t bare me no relief
God, I want a piece of something new
Something I can hold
All I know is holding back won’t help me learn to let it go
I woke up today, knowing no one really knows me
Don’t know what to say
All I know is that I’m lonely
The Den 