April 6th, 2023
It’s a weird phenomenon that we think of something nice to say about someone else and then battle within ourselves over whether or not we should say it.
We should always say it.
I got a gift today.
As an artist, you’re always trying to figure out what kind of art you want to spend your little, precious time on. I’m never not thinking about it; I’m tail-deep in Brushfire: Wave 2 right now, but I can’t spend every waking moment in that world, because I’d go squirrel raving mad.
I have to live as multiple people on many worlds, and I choose those worlds carefully.
We didn’t reach our stretch goals in March, so we don’t really have the money to do so, but animation and audiobooks still weigh heavily on my mind and prick at my heart.
I want to make it work; I want to find ways to create these things, but I’m less confident in them, because, at least financially, few other people have shown they are confident in them and, by extension, me.
It’s hard to shake doubt, like downpouring rain, like ancient rust.
(It’s as exhausting being inside here as it is to read about the experience.)
That being said, I was at the restaurant today when a woman, a complete stranger, said to me: “I just have to say, you should do audiobooks or something with that voice.” She was very complimentary, and it started a conversation where I said, “Well, that’s a huge coincidence, because I’m a writer who has been thinking a lot about doing audiobooks!”
We chatted and connected and, to anybody else, it was a small thing; it was a few words. But to me, it was a few words she decided to say on a day when I really needed to hear them.
It helped me shake off some things that I don’t need, and renew focus on something that means a lot to me.
Don’t battle.
Relent to your insistent kindness.
Say the nice thing you were meaning to say, harbor no small regrets, and enjoy the flowers that bloom in response to your sun.
The Den 