January 14th, 2020
If there is any good in my life right now, any light coming from the holes I have poked in my jar, I have to accept that exactly everything that has happened so far had to happen for that good to exist.
And this is how I can relax my regret and temper my guilt and make the decision to stay on this planet.
Because don’t think for a second that it’s not a decision. I never take for granted that I get to make it and that the choice, ultimately, is an easy and clear one.
Me being here is better than me not being here.
Just like — and I truly, always believe this — you being here is better than you not being here.
I don’t know if anyone has told you that lately, so let me: if you’re a part of my ecosystem, if you’re a planet or moon or distant star in my solar system, then I am happy to tell you that you make my universe a better place.
In fact, my universe would be a different place without you in it.
And the good things I can find in my life — the light drops pooling on the edges of my dark umbrella — they wouldn’t be the same, or possibly even exist without you.
Because everything that has happened had to happen to get us this far. And I would have never have gotten this far without you.
Despite what you did, it doesn’t affect what you do — only where you are now. And you are one second away from the future. Keep — or start — doing the next right thing.
Keep making the choice to be here.
I need you, and I know I’m not the only one.