The Monster

October 15th, 2021 I wrote this weeks ago, but this has been a difficult one to let go into the world. As of tomorrow, the 16th, my mom has been gone for one whole orbit around the sun. In that year, I’ve told a lot of stories about her and how I feel some daysContinue reading “The Monster”

buoy

September 17th, 2021 I was trying to describe how it can feel to open up to someone tonight and it felt oddly comforting to find the words and say them. It was about why someone who is hurting may not reach out to another person who is hurting, too, but might rather seek to speakContinue reading “buoy”

Ain’t That Some Sh

September 15th, 2021 I had to walk to school, and home from school, throughout elementary school and high school (and quite a few middle school days, too). On crisp, awakening fall days, like today, or breezy, renewing spring days, those walks contain some of my favorite memories, the kind they try to recreate in moviesContinue reading “Ain’t That Some Sh”

It Should (Not) Have Been Me

September 9th, 2021 There can be an odd guilt with grief that, if understood, can actually be a good thing. I often talk about all these tools I’ve learned as an adult, sober person, but I usually refer to them in the abstract. One of the specific tools I have to take out of theContinue reading “It Should (Not) Have Been Me”

What Are You Trying To Say?

September 1st, 2021 Let’s talk about words. Specifically, the kind we use to describe people or things we think are dumb or just plain weird. You know the words. We were talking yesterday about a situation that’s all too familar: what do you do when somebody says something that’s uncomfortable for you without seeming likeContinue reading “What Are You Trying To Say?”

CODA Review

August 30th, 2021 It is common to look at art and, no matter how different it is from you, find something in common. It is rare to find art that is made for the very specific life that you’ve lived. I do not need a new streaming service, but I’d been eyeing Apple TV+ forContinue reading “CODA Review”

Crocodile Fears

August 22nd, 2021 There was this game we used to play with a plastic crocodile when I was a kid. I’m not sure if our role was as dentist or some sadistic torturer (I mean, why would any animal need ALL its teeth removed?), but to take a turn would require you to choose andContinue reading “Crocodile Fears”

The Universe Is Bigger Than God

August 16th, 2021 I get asked regularly about why I don’t believe in a capital-G God, mostly by people who are genuinely curious or just want a different point of view on things. I realize that there may be value in putting these words out into the world, to validate them and maybe other peopleContinue reading “The Universe Is Bigger Than God”

More Than I Deserve

August 10th, 2021 I’ve mostly learned the ways to curb, deal with or soothe those devastating feelings of crushing loneliness I get when I think about my mom. Mostly. Sometimes something said will stick in my ribs, or hurt like chewed tinfoil in my head. With those, too, I can usually use my tools toContinue reading “More Than I Deserve”

Five

August 1st, 2021 Happy 5th birthday to my baby girl, Marvel. It is stupid to say a dog is my rock, but here we are. She helps me get through things that have been really hard for me, like sobriety and the death of my mom; she sits on my lap when I’m drawing charactersContinue reading “Five”