September 22nd, 2019
This post is just for me. I’m putting it here in case I ever forget and I need to find it.
Everyone has their ineffable qualities that make them who they are. Everybody knows somebody who, when you’re asked why you like them, you sigh and say, “I don’t know. There’s just something about them.”
We spend a lot of time trying to figure out who we are. What the formula that makes up what we are consists of. And we end up short, because of the ineffable-ness.
I’m trying to figure out what makes me different behind the table. What sets me apart. And I feel like I can recognize a strong trait:
I have no idea what I’m doing.
So, hold on. It sounds like I’m describing a weakness. But listen.
Because I have no idea what I’m doing, I am inherently honest. I don’t know how to lie behind the table, because I’m not good enough to do that. I’m also a terrible liar, which helps.
I don’t have an ultra-slick presentation. I know what I’m trying to say and what I want to do, and I tell the story I’m trying to tell, but it’s a little different every time. Because it’s not manufactured; I’m barely built. I’m growing and sometimes, when the sun or moon is in a strange spot in the sky, you can see it happen before your eyes.
I need to remember this. Because I feel like this is the key to connecting.
When I meet you, I am not trying to sell you anything. Not for money. I want you to feel like I do, to think differently; honestly, when you’re around me, I want you to be excited about something.
To be passionate is brave. Because to show you care about something is brave, and to not is not. I always want to be brave, even when I look stupid.
I look stupid often. And I think that’s another key.
Like I said, this post is for me. For future me. If I ever get tired, or jaded. Or sound overproduced. If I fail to see how amazing life is right in front of me. I need to remember: