buoy

September 17th, 2021 I was trying to describe how it can feel to open up to someone tonight and it felt oddly comforting to find the words and say them. It was about why someone who is hurting may not reach out to another person who is hurting, too, but might rather seek to speakContinue reading “buoy”

Dark Dreams

September 10th, 2021 “I know this sounds like a happy, impossibly perfect ending, but it’s not. I have to work really hard for this. It’s not easy to talk. It’s not easy to ask for help. It’s not easy to accept that others want to help. Like cancer, there is always the fear that itContinue reading “Dark Dreams”

It Should (Not) Have Been Me

September 9th, 2021 There can be an odd guilt with grief that, if understood, can actually be a good thing. I often talk about all these tools I’ve learned as an adult, sober person, but I usually refer to them in the abstract. One of the specific tools I have to take out of theContinue reading “It Should (Not) Have Been Me”

The Power of Positivity, Or I Just Watched The First Season of Ted Lasso And I Have A Lot Feelings To Share With You That I Hope You’ll Read

September 5th, 2021 “It’s the hope that kills you.” It’s a sentiment shared by every Minnesota sports fan and an ironic motto in the show Ted Lasso. Oh, you haven’t seen Ted Lasso? Let me join the mob of fans telling you to watch it now. It’s a show about two kinds of football, sure,Continue reading “The Power of Positivity, Or I Just Watched The First Season of Ted Lasso And I Have A Lot Feelings To Share With You That I Hope You’ll Read”

Crocodile Fears

August 22nd, 2021 There was this game we used to play with a plastic crocodile when I was a kid. I’m not sure if our role was as dentist or some sadistic torturer (I mean, why would any animal need ALL its teeth removed?), but to take a turn would require you to choose andContinue reading “Crocodile Fears”

A Million Tiny Balls

August 19th, 2021 I’ve been seeing a lot of people lately sharing insights about how we should be gentle with ourselves. That the phrase “unprecedented times” has never applied to more unprecedented times. That the modern world has pushed, pulled, squished and smooshed us in every emotional and psychological way possible. I couldn’t agree more.Continue reading “A Million Tiny Balls”

More Than I Deserve

August 10th, 2021 I’ve mostly learned the ways to curb, deal with or soothe those devastating feelings of crushing loneliness I get when I think about my mom. Mostly. Sometimes something said will stick in my ribs, or hurt like chewed tinfoil in my head. With those, too, I can usually use my tools toContinue reading “More Than I Deserve”

Words About Words

August 5th, 2021 I speak in metaphor. I know it’s normal for people to use things to talk about other things, but I sincerely can’t express myself without it. (Mild spoilers for Theia ahead so if you haven’t read it, like, what the heck are you even doing, get out of here and read it.)Continue reading “Words About Words”

Party On

August 2nd, 2021 Though I am sober, it is important that I party. Let me tell you P-A-R-T-why. For a long time, my life was unmanageable. “Unmanagable” is a terribly nice way to say “completely f—ed up.” I believe that it continued like that for a variety of reasons, some of them complex, but someContinue reading “Party On”

I Want To Push You Around

July 19th, 2021 In just about 24 hours, Push comes to shove and will be released into the wild. I wanted to talk about my 7th book a little (and thank every single person who has been here since my 1st, too). I’ll see you soon at Issues Needed on July 21st starting at 5Continue reading “I Want To Push You Around”