Delusional Resolutions

January 24th, 2022 Have you ever started a day by telling yourself that this is the day you’ll get better, and at the end of it you’re not? If so, then this one’s for you. When I was a mess, I would often have conversations with future me. I would say, “Hey. It’s me. I’mContinue reading “Delusional Resolutions”

My Covid Diary

January 14th, 2022 I just made it through my CDC-recommended quarantine. I think most of the people who have had covid (and talk about it) share their physical symptoms. Because of this one-dimensional barometer, you’ll find other people minimize what it is that happens when you’re infected. By that measure, I had sniffles and coughs.Continue reading “My Covid Diary”

Fantastic Four (years sober)

December 9th, 2021 It’s not my birthday today. But I did begin to exist in the world in a new way. I am four years sober as of right this moment. This will come as no surprise if you know how dramatic I can be, but for a long time I was waiting for theContinue reading “Fantastic Four (years sober)”

Particles R Rad

December 2nd, 2021 Particles are amazing. The particles that make up you are the same particles that make up dogs and forks and books and cars and trees. I think humans prefer labeled boxes (which are also made up of the same particles) so we don’t think about that much. If you want, you canContinue reading “Particles R Rad”

Fast [Food] But Not Fast Enough

November 27th, 2021 Now. I drive past the Burger King. I start crying. Then. I’m sitting in the fake leather booth, my hands under my bottom, feeling the cracks and the holes created from the hundreds of bottoms that have sat here before. The booth is orange or brown or both colors at the sameContinue reading “Fast [Food] But Not Fast Enough”

it sucks

November 25th, 2021 It sucks, but there is a lot to be thankful for. This is the second round of holidays without my mom, and I am so excited to share that it gets 100% easier and that, after year one, there are no struggles or bad feelings or mornings I wake up crying forContinue reading “it sucks”

Nothing so Big

November 19th, 2021 There are days when we go through something that seems bigger than we can keep holding up. On those days, the small things can feel less than trivial. The mundane details of our normal lives are smears, becoming blurs along the tunnel vision we get looking at the massive, inescapable thing. IContinue reading “Nothing so Big”

CHVRCHES & Donna Missal at the Armory

November 18th, 2021 Sometimes you just need to be in a room with transcendent art to remind you why you love art and why you love making it. We saw CHVRCHES last night at the Armory and they were brilliant; their opening act, Donna Missal, became an instant new favorite, her sound impossible to pinContinue reading “CHVRCHES & Donna Missal at the Armory”

I’m Hungry But I’m Not Hungry

November 5th, 2021 An exploration of addiction through my personal experience, evolutionary theories, and Galactus & the Silver Surfer.   “I’m hungry but I’m not hungry.” Before everything, it was a feeling. By now, I’ve heard countless people say this phrase or a variation of it. Before that, I used to think it repeatedly, sayContinue reading “I’m Hungry But I’m Not Hungry”

The Temporal Buffet

November 1st, 2021 When you’re paying attention, even the most mundane details can illuminate personal progress. Last weekend, after a day spent doing that business-art thing, some of us went out to a Mongolian grill. I hadn’t been to one in a while, but the premise is simple: fill up a bowl of fresh andContinue reading “The Temporal Buffet”