The Monster

October 15th, 2021 I wrote this weeks ago, but this has been a difficult one to let go into the world. As of tomorrow, the 16th, my mom has been gone for one whole orbit around the sun. In that year, I’ve told a lot of stories about her and how I feel some daysContinue reading “The Monster”

float on

October 8th, 2021 It’s spooky season, so it’s finally appropriate that everything feels so ephemeral to me. Sometimes loss feels like weight, but lately it has felt like nothing at all, smoke that used to be wood that you realize you never could have actually carried forever. That scares me. When I was young, IContinue reading “float on”

Softer Ways

October 7th, 2020 It’s rough out there. I just wanted to share some affirmations with you that help me when I remember to stop, take a breath, and think about them. Which I wish I did more, but it’s really rough out there, and I’m spreading myself as thin as I can, trying to keepContinue reading “Softer Ways”

Something > Nothing

September 28th, 2021 Someone close to me shared a video of a TED Talk about anxiety yesterday morning. I am nothing if not consistently anxious; if anxiety were an electrical current, I am always at a level where you would receive a static shock if you tapped on my shoulder. Beyond describing the different formsContinue reading “Something > Nothing”

buoy

September 17th, 2021 I was trying to describe how it can feel to open up to someone tonight and it felt oddly comforting to find the words and say them. It was about why someone who is hurting may not reach out to another person who is hurting, too, but might rather seek to speakContinue reading “buoy”

Dark Dreams

September 10th, 2021 “I know this sounds like a happy, impossibly perfect ending, but it’s not. I have to work really hard for this. It’s not easy to talk. It’s not easy to ask for help. It’s not easy to accept that others want to help. Like cancer, there is always the fear that itContinue reading “Dark Dreams”

It Should (Not) Have Been Me

September 9th, 2021 There can be an odd guilt with grief that, if understood, can actually be a good thing. I often talk about all these tools I’ve learned as an adult, sober person, but I usually refer to them in the abstract. One of the specific tools I have to take out of theContinue reading “It Should (Not) Have Been Me”

If You Like The Way You Look That Much Then Baby You Should Go Forgive Yourself

September 3rd, 2021 I used to think I understood the phrase “forgive but don’t forget” but now I’m not so sure. Because how can something be forgiven if it can and will be brought up at any time? This isn’t a simple topic but I’ve been thinking about it a lot so here I am,Continue reading “If You Like The Way You Look That Much Then Baby You Should Go Forgive Yourself”

Crocodile Fears

August 22nd, 2021 There was this game we used to play with a plastic crocodile when I was a kid. I’m not sure if our role was as dentist or some sadistic torturer (I mean, why would any animal need ALL its teeth removed?), but to take a turn would require you to choose andContinue reading “Crocodile Fears”

A Million Tiny Balls

August 19th, 2021 I’ve been seeing a lot of people lately sharing insights about how we should be gentle with ourselves. That the phrase “unprecedented times” has never applied to more unprecedented times. That the modern world has pushed, pulled, squished and smooshed us in every emotional and psychological way possible. I couldn’t agree more.Continue reading “A Million Tiny Balls”