October 4th, 2026
Broken things don’t have to keep breaking things.
We can repair and improve systems, cycles, people.
I know this because I’m a broken thing, fixed.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to start so emo. How are you? I’m okay. I guess. I mean, I’m regularly waking up in the middle of the night in alarm and anxious over the state of the world, our future, my life. I’m not writing on the internet very much, as I struggle with what to say, because I’m struggling with every little thing right now.
The Cornell 7 case has, rightfully, reignited a fire in this country, one that has been burning to various degrees since the beginning of human life. Everyone is asking the same question we’ve always asked: what do we do about men?
I don’t know. I didn’t start writing this to answer the question. I wrote this because I understand it.
I witnessed sexual abuse as a child. I personally experienced it when I was barely older than that. Conversely, I’ve behaved in ways that I don’t love and had to find a way to love myself again. I’ve been hurt by men and I am a man who has caused pain. Over my lifetime, I have dealt with a heavy hand of shame, but being able to convert that shame into guilt into manageable pain into compassion and love and action is the only reason I’m still alive.
I was broken, but there were people who showed me how to fix it; how to restore myself to factory settings, to find again the goodness and kindness and joy I held on the day I was born. And they cared enough to set an example I could follow.
I’m so grateful to all the women in my life who have taught me pretty much everything I know; I’m also grateful to the men who showed me a better way of being a man. I think becoming a decent person requires both.
This isn’t a “not all men” post; in fact, I would argue that any man is capable of causing severe and lasting damage. I believe in condemning condemnable behavior, and seeking accountability, justice, and safety for every human being. I believe there is a straight line from electing a man who is most famous for saying you can grab a woman by the p***y to what happened on the campus of Cornell. I believe there are systems, cycles, and people that are broken.
I also believe that what is broken can be fixed. We can improve and repair and create a better system, cycle, person. It just requires people who care.
