The Language of Darkness

November 25th, 2022 There’s something you feel when someone ends their own life that feels either unnatural or completely understandable. It’s something I’ve explored a lot, in essays like these, and in fictional characters like Liam, in the book Push, and Axis in The Weirdos. I had the realization that I had said unnatural orContinue reading “The Language of Darkness”

I’m Becoming This

November 7th, 2022 “I don’t know if I’m strong; I think I’m just numb.” – Khloe Kardashian Today — and this week, and this year, and the past handful of years — I wonder how many of us have been embodying this Khloe Kardashian quote. I don’t know the difference between strong and numb someContinue reading “I’m Becoming This”

Just Another Day

October 16th, 2022 It’s just another day. It’s football day. My dread is warmer than usual, my anxiety sharper. It’s not just another day. My dad legally divorced the Minnesota Vikings in 1998 over an incident neither he nor millions of other sports fans had any control over. My mom stayed committed to them. ThatContinue reading “Just Another Day”

Groundless

October 14th, 2022 I was going to write about fall today. I had a lot of feelings yesterday and thought of some words I was going to write this morning. I was going to take a stunning photo of an autumn tree. And then it snowed. And what I really wanted to talk about cameContinue reading “Groundless”

The Kind Monster

September 6th, 2022 Starting today, I’m going to be taking the rest of the month off from posting essays. I feel like you and I could use a break from each other, in a good way. I hope you’ll catch up on posts, if that’s your thing, or pick up some of my work andContinue reading “The Kind Monster”

Trauma Like Candy

August 25th, 2022 When I was growing up, my dad took us camping a lot. That meant a lot of s’mores, mosquito bites, boat rides, sunburns, worms pierced with hooks, hammocks, and campfires. On one particular trip, during elementary school break, I had become fascinated with the fire pit on the grounds. It was madeContinue reading “Trauma Like Candy”

I Am Not An Illusion

August 24th, 2022 Mystery is an amateur magic show. I get frequently asked why I tell people stuff on the internet. Like, the stuff you shouldn’t really tell people, the stuff people don’t talk about like I think they should, the stuff that is heavy or hard. I do it because I feel like weContinue reading “I Am Not An Illusion”

silly

August 15th, 2022 “As for its being silly, I don’t mind that. Sometimes it’s great fun to be silly, like children playing statues and dying of laughter. And sometimes being silly breaks the even pace and lets you get a new start.” – The Winter of Our Discontent Being silly is natural to me, butContinue reading “silly”

In Dreams: The Sandman, Flip, and Push

August 8th, 2022 I finished the first season of The Sandman on Netflix this afternoon. As a massive Sandman fan, for years, I personally think it is a better-than-perfect adaptation of the source material. I also want to add how well the series is cast; Tom Sturridge as Dream is the single best casting choiceContinue reading “In Dreams: The Sandman, Flip, and Push”

Everyone as Puzzles

August 5th, 2022 A life’s journey is puzzling. I’ve made that idea near-literal. When you’re in recovery and an open book, people love to ask you about the ugliest parts of your story. “So what was your rock bottom?” I have never been fully comfortable with that phrase, at least when it comes to howContinue reading “Everyone as Puzzles”