September 19th, 2020
Do you ever have a moment when you forget that you’re you?
When you do or say something that is completely uncharacteristic of who you are now, but then remember that it used to be a part of who you were?
I’ll say something negative. Or I’ll react in anger. Or I won’t speak at all.
And it feels false, but only because I’ve spent so much time building better foundations.
I think there are a whole lot of people out there who spend a lot of time trying to be better. Whether it’s working on my insides, or my actions, or my words, I feel like I’m just constantly striving to make improvements — often at the expense of losing forgiveness for myself.
So that’s all I wanted to say today.
Sometimes, you’ll do something that will remind people of the “old” you. It might remind you of a you that you didn’t particularly like.
Instead of casting that part of you aside, bring it in. Let that part of you know that even though you’ve outgrown it, it is still welcome to exist as a part of your past, and thus, still a part of who you are.
All of yourself. The flaws, the ugliness, the outbursts of emotion that can only be classified as human. Let them sit next to the fire of who you are, alongside all the parts of you that are who you are now.
They’re not going away. We can start new chapters, but we’ll always be the same book.
Be kind to yourself. I know it helps to hear that sometimes myself.