May 12th, 2021
There was a phrase I used to hear all the time when I was drinking that would put fear in me more than anything else anyone could say.
“The truth comes out when you’re drunk.”
This was repeated so often that it was no longer anecdotal for me, an absolute, objective truth that made it easy for me to believe that I was a bad person.
Because there were times when I drank when I said or did awful things, and if I was being my honest self while I was drinking, then that meant that underneath my social defenses and complex layers I was a bad human being at my rotten core.
When you accept that as your truth, it’s hard to make any kind of decision to be better, because you resign yourself to the idea that there isn’t any better version of yourself.
It took me a long time away from that behavior (and a whole lot of soul searching) to come to the realization that who you are when you’re someone else isn’t who you are at all.
I believe that when you are your healthiest and your happiest, that is your truth.
Your truth isn’t the words that come out easily after two rounds of happy hour. Your truth is the hard words you still say despite being sober.
There are people out there who, the last time they ran into me, did not meet the best version of me. Maybe you’re reading these words right now. I could have been obnoxious, or insensitive, or belligerent, or maybe didn’t even make a whole lot of sense at all.
I write and talk about these things now, as the person I really am, so you can see that there was a whole other person inside of that one the entire time. In fact, there are whole other people inside every other person you know.
I just hope you remember that the next time you run into someone who is not their best self.
Be kind.
I know we all have that in us. At least, some version of us, anyway.
The Den 