August 5th, 2021
I speak in metaphor.
I know it’s normal for people to use things to talk about other things, but I sincerely can’t express myself without it.
(Mild spoilers for Theia ahead so if you haven’t read it, like, what the heck are you even doing, get out of here and read it.)
If you missed it, my last post was a massive analogy that was drenched in both heavy sarcasm and hopefully some truth. What it was an analogy for is up to you; that’s the beauty of metaphor and I have no interest in talking about the actual thing I was referring to.
That’s because the analogy gives you and me distance. From the topic itself, from the intense thoughts and emotions related to the topic; it also gives us distance from each other.
It can allow for the kind of thoughtful communication that you just don’t see in the world very much anymore.
All of Theia, the book, is a metaphor for the year 2020. It gave the hard things to talk about adorable, fuzzy faces and compassionate, impossible voices.
Theia herself is inspired by my dog, but she’s really a metaphor for me and one of my many major character defects: the fact that I spent most of my life trying to run away from everywhere and everyone.
Nowhere is this more apparent than when she addresses all the animals in the shelter.
“I’m sorry,” she started. “To you, Apple, and to all of you. I have not been a good dog. I’ve treated you poorly, and spent all of my time here thinking about myself. I’m an asshole!”
This was Theia starting to apologize for who she had been. But more importantly, this was me apologizing to everyone I had ever crossed, tripped, pushed away, ignored, hurt or ran away from in my life, in the only way I know how to say anything meaningful.
Words about words.
It is not easy to be a human right now. Sometimes it is intolerable. There are days where all I’m doing is holding off gnawing waves of anxiety and loneliness.
I don’t even know what to say.
But a thing of a thing, a word of a word can find exactly how I feel and give me enough distance from that pain to be able to come back around and understand it, and hopefully care for it.
Whether that be a boy who has a vivid dreams, a superhero, or just an asshole of a dog.