The Den

Legacy

June 16th, 2019

Because I spend a lot of time thinking about death, I spend an equal amount of time thinking about legacy.

Not necessarily the big things. The scientific discoveries or philanthropic donations. No, I mean stuff like how you treat people.

And how you post things on the internet.

If you died tomorrow, the way that you presented yourself on the ‘net would be a topic of discussion at your funeral. If you’re the type who shitposts or stirs the pot, just because — that is what people will remember about you.

Forever.

It sounds dramatic, but it’s not. If I would have died ten years ago, I would have died an angry brat with potential but a whole lot of petty problems. And that was on me, as much as being in your twenties is.

I hope if I died right here, right now, I would be something different than that. That the words and wake I leave behind are better than that. And I know it’s easy to click and share — you’re reading this, so you know I do — but I hope you always remember that everything you do is an extension of who you are.

Every day, every minute, every second — that’s your legacy.

For better or worse, make it yours.

The Climb

June 15th, 2019

Some people wonder why climbers do it.

Why would somebody put their life at risk for something so stupid?

Until you really stop and think about it and realize that at least once in your life, you are going to be obsessed with, possessed by and insanely passionate about something, or someone.

And nobody but you will ever know why.

But thanks to the sane people who document things of this nature, like in the film Free Solo, we can begin to understand, if not ever truly comprehend. I have never been so gripped (pun absolutely intended) by what is essentially a guy climbing up a rock in my entire life. My body ached through visual osmosis and my soul stirred just the same.

Why do humans do crazy things? Because knowing better is what makes us essentially human.

You Positive?

June 11th, 2019

I saw some people today and they reminded me of a simple truth that needs to be repeated.

Positive people do not have better lives than negative people do.

Bad things happen to them: they fall down, they get set back and they get hurt. They have sad days and mad days and days where they just want to give up, too.

But they don’t. They take the things that most of us complain and whine about and they see growth and opportunity. They take the unsalvageable garbage of existence and they see what can be saved and recycled. They don’t force others to smile — but they know the importance of doing so.

Positive people do not have better lives than negative people do.

But you would never know it if you asked them.

[Start The Clapping]

In brightest day, in blackest night, this dog gives me the will and light.

June 4th, 2019

I help run a thing on Tuesday afternoons. To do that, they give me a folder that tells me what to say and what to do. Today, I noticed that after one of the statements, it read [Start the Clapping].

And I thought to myself: “Hell, yeah.”

That’s what we need to do. It’s so easy to join in on celebrating someone else’s accomplishments; it’s another thing completely to be the first one. So, be the first to tell everybody about your friend’s new business. Be the first to text or call them when they get a new job or a promotion. Be the first to ask how their new project is going. Be the first to tell them how much you love the work they’ve already done. Yes, celebrate with everybody else, too, but it really takes strength and guts and heart to be the first one.

Start the f&@×ing clapping.

Vogen, The Creator

May 31st, 2019

People ask me what it’s like to create a world.

Well, it looks like this.

This stack of notebooks is hundreds of pages of life. It’s doodles, and sketches, and ideas, and timelines, and sharp words, and broken hearts, and gender-swaps, and intimate connections, and things that seem like but can’t be coincidences.

In here are people and stories and lives and a world that has taken years to actualize. It takes work and imagination and stupid passion and even more work, and even even more paper, ink and blood.

As I reach the end of writing this first volume of The Weirdos, I sit back and watch the world fight back against its creator.

It’s exciting, it’s terrifying, and it’s life.

So what is it like to create a world?

If it’s ever done, I’ll tell you.

Tightrope

May 28th, 2019

Imagine your life is a high-wire act.

It might not be hard to pretend, actually.

Every part of (and person in your) life is one thread in the tightrope that you’re tirelessly walking. If you find a loose or stray wire, don’t worry. Your only job is to focus on the strong, steady, sturdy lines that are heading in the direction that you want to go.

This is why us supporting each other is so important. Whether it’s creatively, intimately or even blindly sometimes, our faith and support of one another is what keeps us on the wire, what keeps us from slipping and falling too far.

I just want to thank all the people who support me and my journey. I couldn’t walk it without you and, honestly, I wouldn’t want to. I hope you feel like you can rely on me and I always want to be your cheering section.

Have a terrific Tuesday, my high-flying Squirrels.

Pizza Party

May 22nd, 2019

We made someone their last pizza today.

If you’re an average, healthy 25-year-old human being, you have approximately 2,120 pizzas ahead of you. That number isn’t insignificant, but it also isn’t that many. You might have a little less, and you won’t likely have more.

This isn’t meant to alarm you. But this is about perspective. This is about enjoying every bite of every slice of every pizza you have left. It’s about appreciating the company of those who choose to sit or stand next to you and eat with you.

Because, before you know it, you’re going to eat your last one. You’re going to have your last slice, and your last bite.

Your memories will recall every pizza that came before.

And I just hope you’re all eating well.

Paper Beats Rock

May 18th, 2019

I’m struggling this weekend.

This isn’t a sympathy post. It’s the opposite, actually, because its intent is to solve its own problem.

My life’s journey right now feels tenuous; like I’m walking on a tightrope of just a few finely-strung muscles. I don’t feel like I’m particularly measuring up to anybody else; on the flip side of that coin, I don’t approve of me comparing myself to everyone else.

But here’s where the post takes a turn. I like me. I like me now, I mean. I didn’t for a long time. But because I like me, I can get through times like these when I don’t feel like I’m doing anything worthwhile or making progress on where I want to be.

I’ve made a lot of changes to myself, and when you do that you start to see what changes and doesn’t change outside of you with terrifying clarity. Liking yourself gives you the power to make decisions that can put you back on the path you want to walk.

But most of all, liking yourself just gives you hope, especially if you’ve ever not. And hope is what beats struggles, and beats helplessness, and beats the hell out of whatever else you have to face.

The Secret Of Change

May 13th, 2019

I’m about to tell you a secret of the universe. It’s one of the big ones, and I’m not going to keep it quiet anymore. I’m about to share with you the secret of change.

I know what you’re thinking: “Whoa, Dennis. You can’t do that. If you just go and tell everyone how they can create change in their lives, isn’t that going to irrevocably alter the course of the world forever?” Well, sure and no. Because as simply as I’m going to lay it out for you, most people will choose to plainly not listen. But you’re not most people, are you?

Let’s say that for as long as you can remember, every morning you wake up, get out of bed and hit your toe on the door frame on the way out of your room. You don’t know when you started doing this, but as long as you can think back, you have always done this. It’s painful, and it’s stupid, but that’s just the way it is.

Now, let’s say that one morning, either by luck or by destiny or by a very deliberate decision on your part, you wake up, get out of bed and you DON’T hit your toe on the door frame on the way out of your room. This experience is different, and it’s a lot nicer than your previous experiences waking up.

Now, this one-time-event does not constitute change. But here’s what does.

The next day you wake up, you now have a choice, having experienced two different ways of waking up. You get to decide whether to go back to your old ways, and run that toe of yours in the door frame on the way out of your room, or — OR — you now have a second option, and you can skip that pain altogether.

If you repeat these steps, quite literally, there will come a time when your morning routine, for as long as you can remember, has been waking up, getting out of bed and preparing to start your day on the right foot.

And that is all there is behind any kind of change.

You’re welcome.

Make The Mundane Excellent

Neon spaghetti. It sticks to the wall, it’s done.

May 6th, 2019

I feel like I’ve been a million people lately.

It’s like my brain has been scattered across the multiverse, and the only thing connecting it to itself is a current of anxious electricity.

I read an piece recently about the concept of excellence. The writer argued that since most of our lives are spent in the mundane, something unexpected happens to us when we’re in the presence of excellence. We react in a heightened way; we feel a wide spectrum of feelings, from inspiration to outright jealousy. Our lives are changed forever when we come in contact with the extraordinary, and it’s because of the ordinary way we live most of our lives.

Something about this really bothered me.

It was this, and I realized it by seeing my world from so many points of view: excellence is a perspective.

You could meet a woman who, on paper, has lived a very ordinary life. And the way she could tell it could be your absolute favorite story.

Conversely, you could meet a man who, by all accounts, lived an spectacular life, filled with adventure and travel, and yet the way he told it could inspire nothing more than pity.

If you say things like, “Well, when you work somewhere so long, you’re bound to get sick of it,” or, “When people are in relationships forever, they get boring and it’s not like it was at the beginning,” you are only describing your own personal outlook on life, not any law or rule.

There are people who have had jobs for decades who, despite maybe not even loving the work itself, loved waking up every day with that sense of purpose and made it more than what it was. And there are couples who have been together for over fifty years who show no signs of lost love or stagnant feelings, and (with a little work) these are all choices that people choose to make.

Greatness is great to be in the presence of. But deciding what is great is the greatest power. You decide that your work is important. You decide that the people in your life are important. You decide who and what you love, and even if you don’t sometimes, you decide what you do about it.

So be excellent, and not in spite of the mundane; make the mundane excellent because it will change your life.