Featured

Walk A Way

April 24th, 2026

My dog Marvel is a terrible walking partner.

She takes forever.

Marvel sees a tree. She approaches it and stops us completely, disrupting our walk.

This forces me to take in my surroundings.

I notice for the first time how blue the sky is today. Some geese fly overhead and land on the sparkling pond down the hill from us. There’s a father and his young son fishing off the dock. I take a deep breath and start to taste every note of the sweet air as it passes through my nose and into my belly. Speaking of notes, I hear the harmony of wildlife play through the woods, the low hum of the cool wind and high sliding chirps of the black-capped chickadees. God’s most perfect creature, the squirrel, climbs down a tree and onto the trail to say hello. I wave back.

I’m reminded of the Buddhist texts I’ve been reading: be present in this moment, and in every moment. You never step into the same river twice and all that jazz. I look at Marvel and realize that we will never take this same walk again. We do not last forever. Change is the only constant; the only permanent thing is our impermanence. I get emotional. Tears fill my eyes as a woman walks past us cautiously, understandably, as I am a man in the woods.

I am close to enlightenment. I can feel the universe on the tip of my finger and tongue.

Then Marvel sees the next tree, and we walk a few feet more. We start the process again.

Maybe Marvel is a pretty good walking partner.

Maybe she’s the best.

Broken Things

October 4th, 2026

Broken things don’t have to keep breaking things.

We can repair and improve systems, cycles, people.

I know this because I’m a broken thing, fixed.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to start so emo. How are you? I’m okay. I guess. I mean, I’m regularly waking up in the middle of the night in alarm and anxious over the state of the world, our future, my life. I’m not writing on the internet very much, as I struggle with what to say, because I’m struggling with every little thing right now.

The Cornell 7 case has, rightfully, reignited a fire in this country, one that has been burning to various degrees since the beginning of human life. Everyone is asking the same question we’ve always asked: what do we do about men?

I don’t know. I didn’t start writing this to answer the question. I wrote this because I understand it.

I witnessed sexual abuse as a child. I personally experienced it when I was barely older than that. Conversely, I’ve behaved in ways that I don’t love and had to find a way to love myself again. I’ve been hurt by men and I am a man who has caused pain. Over my lifetime, I have dealt with a heavy hand of shame, but being able to convert that shame into guilt into manageable pain into compassion and love and action is the only reason I’m still alive.

I was broken, but there were people who showed me how to fix it; how to restore myself to factory settings, to find again the goodness and kindness and joy I held on the day I was born. And they cared enough to set an example I could follow.

I’m so grateful to all the women in my life who have taught me pretty much everything I know; I’m also grateful to the men who showed me a better way of being a man. I think becoming a decent person requires both.

This isn’t a “not all men” post; in fact, I would argue that any man is capable of causing severe and lasting damage. I believe in condemning condemnable behavior, and seeking accountability, justice, and safety for every human being. I believe there is a straight line from electing a man who is most famous for saying you can grab a woman by the p***y to what happened on the campus of Cornell. I believe there are systems, cycles, and people that are broken.

I also believe that what is broken can be fixed. We can improve and repair and create a better system, cycle, person. It just requires people who care.

Present: An Idea

September 4th, 2026

I’ve hinted a bit at a big idea I have and I’ve learned that sharing it with others have brought their brilliant perspectives to it, making it an even better idea. So I’m going to share some details with you now, if you have a minute and want to hear about it.

My idea is a place. When you walk in, it’s a café, specializing in warm things like coffee and soup (why soup? There have been countless days when I have been completely consumed by the void, eaten by despair, and a bite of soup has simply saved my life). There isn’t a pick-up counter; there’s a bar for people to sit and chat at while they enjoy their non-alcoholic drinks and food. The environment and decor and vibe will be chill and comfortable, a place where people actually want to hang out.

But this is only half the idea.

If you keep walking through the café, you will discover a hallway and another room. It will be spacious and have windows to the outside world, and we will hold classes here. We’ll specialize in meditation and yoga (which explains why I’m getting certified in the former), but we could also do so much more: art and writing classes. Cooking or language. Stand-up comedy. Recovery meetings. A room for events when available.

This would be a place for community, somewhere you can put your phone away for just one dang moment. I call this place Present.

This idea came together from all my life experience, the service and connection and art from my time on this planet; I also don’t have any place like this around me, which got my brain storming. I’ve already started thinking of more niche classes, like a service industry meditation night, with practices that specifically help those in restaurants. We have a high rate of addiction and substance abuse in our line of work; I’m not reading stats, I’m living and breathing proof. I’d love to offer a better way for those who are searching for it.

This will probably be a long road. But I’ve already learned so much by sharing it; everyone I’ve talked to about this idea has given me both their enthusiasm and even more ideas. I’ve had conversations with yoga instructors, other small business owners, people have been showing me good open spots to check out (I want Present to be in a high-traffic area, like a strip mall). And I am not scared of someone stealing this idea: please do! This is a place I want in my neighborhood! I’ll be first in line!

Anyway, just sending this out into the universe to let you know what I’m thinking about and what I want to bring into existence. As always, if you’ve got any ideas or support or suggestions, I’m open. It’s early stages, but I literally can’t stop dreaming about it; maybe, someday, it’ll be something more.

Fall Tour 2026

August 30th, 2026

I can’t wait for fall and I have infinite reasons, including but not limited to: hoodie weather, brilliant foliage, crisp air, football, pumpkin anything, spooky everything, and I’m getting out of the house to visit two of my favorite conventions and hang out with all of you!

Fall Tour 2026 kicks off October 10th with MNCBA FallCon and two full days at the Minnesota State Fair Grandstand; it concludes over three more days at the Minneapolis Convention Center starting on November 20th with my sixth year at Twin Cities Con!

That’s five full days of fall convention goodness; I do accept freshly baked breads, pies, and sweet treats as (probably not) legal payment for my books, so please do plan accordingly.

I may be working on a few new things for these events, but who knows? I love surprising people, most of all myself. I will definitely be hanging out with my friend Jen Bateman at FallCon for a panel on Saturday at 3 pm called Looking Up While It All Falls Down, about creativity and hope in these trying times.

If anyone wants me for a panel at Twin Cities Con, please reach out! I always have such a blast participating in those rooms.

Peace out, summer. It’s been real (hot and gross). Let’s get comfy. See you soon.

Just Like Me

August 28th, 2026

Can you truly call yourself a compassionate person if you can’t share that compassion for the people you believe deserve it the least?

There isn’t a right or wrong answer to this question, but I do think it’s hard candy worth chewing on.

I’ve been working on a meditation practice this week called Just Like Me. In it, you sit and think of a person you don’t know very well or, better yet, someone you’re actively in conflict with. Then you spend some time reflecting on the fact that everything you’ve felt in your life – sadness, loss, heartbreak – they’ve felt it, too. They’ve been through things just like you’ve been through things; they know joy and wonder and anxiety and fear just as well as you.

If you do this for a while, it becomes impossible to not feel a radical compassion and consider it in a deeper and more difficult way.

I think Dolly offers a unique perspective to the question I posed. As far as human beings can be, she is universally adored, and I think it’s because she was a genuinely compassionate person. Look: she was pro-Jesus, pro-vaccine, pro-environment, pro-reading, pro-vanity, pro-being-who-you-are, pro-minding-your-own-business, pro-loving-each-other-amen. In some circles, having those qualities makes you some kind of woke, communist libtard. I know, because I’m some of those things and I’ve received the comments and messages I deserve. But in the hands of Dolly, a woman who didn’t just say she cared but took constant action to relieve the suffering of others, those qualities made her an actual angel on Earth and widely recognized as such.

I think many of us know someone like Dolly. I think we know real compassion when we see it. And I think we feel like frauds when we say we care about everyone and “everyone” doesn’t include, like, everyone. I’m not saying that Dolly didn’t talk shit; I don’t have any proof on hand, but she was tough and had little tolerance for bullshit.

The thing is though: she cared. She had to have helped people she didn’t agree with because she helped people she didn’t even know. People who felt the same feelings she had and been through things just like she did. People who, she knew in her heart, were just like her.

Everyone Is Lying To You For Money Review

August 22nd, 2026

I just watched one of the most thrilling documentaries I’ve seen in a while, in which “the guy from The O.C.” all but proves crypto is the scam it appears to be.

Ben McKenzie just made Everyone Is Lying To You For Money available to rent on his website; the doc is based on his own book, Easy Money: Cryptocurrency, Casino Capitalism, and the Golden Age of Fraud. Why should we listen to bad boy Ryan Atwood about economics? I can give you at least two: he’s got a degree in it (for real), and he has an easy-going ability to translate the complex bullshit that certain humans produce into something that’s simple for you and me to understand.

I’m not joking when I say scenes like his interview with Sam Bankman-Fried (yes, he actually sat down with him) and his speech on the U.S. Senate floor gave me as much adrenaline and goosebumps as any good chase scene. He grounds the film in the reality of his life and the lives of millions who have been defrauded by Bitcoin and its ilk. He doesn’t treat any of those victims of fraud as anything less than humans just trying their best.

Speaking of frauds! Tom Emmer, one of our Republican Congressmen, makes an interesting cameo in the film: he was actually one of the people who questioned Bankman-Fried about his policies with FTX. And guess what? He gave Bankman-Fried a big thumbs up to all the nonsensical bullshit he spoke about the “precautions” he and FTX were taking to “protect investors”. (In case you don’t know, spoiler alert: Sam Bankman-Fried is currently serving 25 years in prison.) That Tom Emmer: a real champion of making sure the average American citizen is safe from fraud. Ask him to tell you how much real money is in crypto next time you see him!

For real, though: I could not recommend this film enough. It should be required viewing for anyone who is even thinking about getting into crypto; for anyone who knows anyone who is thinking about getting into crypto.

Ryan Atwood — excuse me, Ben McKenzie Schenkkan — is an actual American hero. What he did here is unglamorous, gloryless, and largely thankless. I say “largely” because he has my gratitude for creating a genuine resource as thoughtful, brave, and entertaining as this.

For What It’s Worth

August 21st, 2026

I’ve cried during every episode of Ted Lasso.

Surprisingly, that is not the part of this post that I am ashamed to admit.

One of the main theses of the TV show Ted Lasso is the idea that we can all be better people, but also that we are already of the highest value by virtue of our against-all-odds existence. We can do good; we are already good.

The thing that gets me every time is that it reminds me of why I try so hard.

I am rarely any of these qualities, but I work so hard to be interesting and interested and kind and funny and sharp and helpful because, on the one hand, that is genuinely who I want to be; on the other hand, I need to be those things because there is a part of me that feels like I have fucked up more than any other human being ever, and I have to be those things if I am to be a person deserving of love and attention and friendship.

And the ironic part of this is that I know I am not alone, though I feel like the lone offender.

Every episode of Ted Lasso seems to unravel this feeling in me, in a really healthy and healing way. The characters treat each other like humans should and, when they don’t, they figure it out with honesty and dignity, and then love each other anyway.

Anyway. This sounds like a weird pitch for a show and I am so grateful that a group of people got together and made it. We’re living in a world that has found a way to devalue every single part of being human; it’s nice to see something that reflects how valuable every human being truly is.

Meditation Students Wanted

August 16th, 2026

Hey! I have a weird question to ask you!

Apparently, I’m the type who just wants to keep learning stuff: I’m now enrolled and working through a course to earn a certification in meditation teaching.

This is a practice that’s become an important part of my life and I want to be able to reach people who, like me, have had issues with meditation or are just looking for community; this is also a piece of a much bigger project that I’m not quite ready to share (but I’ll tell you all about it if you corner me in public).

In order to finish the program, I have to actually teach some meditation, which brings me to my question: who wants a free session?

You can choose from seven different mindful meditation practices:

• Mindful Eating
• Focused Attention and Open Awareness
• Mindfulness of Breathing
• Body Scan
• Mindful Walking
• Just Like Me
• Loving-Kindness Meditation

And you can do these sessions in a variety of ways:

• One-on-one: in-person, over the phone, or Zoom
• Part of a group: in-person or over Zoom

The sessions are completely free (it’ll only cost you some of your time, about 20 minutes per session). It will be a learning experience for the both of us. If you have any questions about any of it, please let me know! You can message me if you’re interested; I imagine I’ll start this process mid-September and start scheduling these appointments over a week or two.

I hope to hear from some of you!

At a Discount

August 12th, 2026

Last night at work we were talking about identity and it inspired me to come up with a scenario that a fifth-grader could clearly understand.

At our restaurant, we have a neat deal: if your name is Gary, you get 50% off your meal (up to $15 [this is not a paid promotion]).

I turned to a co-worker and asked: “Is your name Gary?” They shook their head no. I followed that up with: “Do you get the Gary discount?” They said no again.

It’s really that simple.

Identity is how you move through life. In a perfect world, it’s how the world sees you and how you see yourself. If your name is Steve, and you identify as Steve, and you turn your head when people say “Steve”, but you suddenly turn into Gary when a small discount is offered, that says more about you than it does society.

Because that’s one of the most frequent “jokes” I hear: “Well, what if I identity as a Gary today?” And then it makes sense: of course the kind of person who would lie about their own identify for some kind of benefit would think that other people are doing the exact same thing.

It’s almost like they’re telling on themselves.

Unlike a lot of MAGA, I actually have friendships I cherish with trans and non-binary people. And I can tell you one thing: at no point did being honest about who they are make their lives in society any easier. They did not get $15 off for being themselves. But it was still better than living a lie.

I have always said I have the utmost respect for people who dig down deep, who really reach as far as they can in the search for who they are. I’ve found that many people who lie, about identity or otherwise, are predatory and insecure; they lie to gain power, popularity, acceptance, all at the expense of those living authentically. You see it in politics and on barstools and online and anywhere people want to be loved but choose to be fake or insincere, preferring a false adoration to an honest respect.

Just a little food for thought. No discount necessary.

Spider-Man (and Men)

July 30th, 2026

The new Spider-Man film got me all up in my feels (and tears) today; I want to write a little about why it was so emotional for me (while trying not to spoil it, promise).

It’s no secret that Peter Parker is one of my favorite fictional characters of all time. If you’re new here, you missed the years where I regularly dressed up as Spider-Man for events (and occasional newspaper photo shoots with potential presidental candidates… it’s a long story). It’s not hard to relate to him: he’s a nerd who struggles through life but does so with humor, humility, and the sincere want to do good.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day has a lot of complex things to say but, for me, it really tackles the topic of what it means to be a man, whatever that designation means to you or the world around us.

It’s no secret that countless men of all ages are struggling; with identity, with purpose, with connection, with meaning. I don’t think this is new; I do think technology has made it worse. This film explores that in a way that’s novel and affecting; it also has big fights and spectacular special effects, if you need a break from those aforementioned feelings.

And speaking of a break: if you’ve read anything here recently, you probably noticed I’ve been sharing a lot of the Buddhist ideas I’ve been studying. These thoughts definitely have a different tone than some of my earlier posts. And maybe you’re thinking: so did you do it? Are you not angry anymore? Are you not anxious?

Hell no. I am just as angry and anxious as I’ve ever been. I’m still a recovering drunk. I’m still struggling with imposter syndrome and regret and not feeling as connected to my community as I want to be. I’m still compulsive with my phone.

But the Buddhism helps. It grounds me and gives me perspective and more tools to be better, to be kinder, to be more compassionate, to recognize that nobody does this life alone, which is another idea Spider-Man masterfully paints.

I’m sick of hearing that people are sick of comic book movies. They’re not. They’re sick of bad movies based on comic books. But, like comic books, these movies can be anything, any style and any genre, and they can be truly special. This one is (it really is), and I’m so grateful it exists. See it with people you love.

THEY’RE GR•R•REAT!

July 27th, 2026

“Be grateful to everyone.”

When I first heard this lojong slogan from Buddhist master Atisha, I thought: duh. It’s obviously good to be grateful; I have learned how to be grateful. In fact, finding and keeping gratitude saved my life.

But I was performing half the equation of gratitude. I was only grateful for the good things, the good times, the good people.

The line says: “Be grateful to everyone.”

That’s where the growth is.

When I encounter someone or something that frustrates me, that annoys me, that makes me angry or sad or drives me crazy, I’ve been trying to remind myself to be grateful for it all. This mindset is a game-changer, especially in the field of service.

This (totally annoying) person or event could teach (or reteach) me, an old dog, something important. To be more patient or open-minded or compassionate or all of the above and more.

I fail at it. I can name times I failed at it today, this week, this summer, this year and all the years before it. But I know the more I practice it, the more it becomes routine, a reflex, and the default way I deal with what I would have considered only problems and maybe not potential.

I know that boundaries exist for a reason, too. If we’re treated poorly, we shouldn’t ignore the behavior and solely search for the lessons; we don’t owe ourselves to anyone but we do owe ourselves the best.

When it comes to everything else: I’m trying to be grateful. To annoyance, to irritation, to heartbreak, to nonsense. Instead of avoiding them, I seek those cracks in the sidewalk in which to grow.