Veggie Tale

November 12th, 2024

Do you want to hear something super annoying?

I’ve been a vegetarian for a week.

Am I going to try to convince you to join me? Heck no. Do I still want to talk about it? You bet.

Here’s what happened.

You all know I love animals. So dang much. I got it from my mama. Out of my 13 published books, 4 of them are about animals, and all 13 feature them. (If you’ve read my short story The New Romantics in the Otherworldly anthology, you know what that’s all about, too.)

I have been conflicted about meat since the moment I learned where it came from. Which isn’t to say I don’t love it. There isn’t anything like a good burger or chicken wing. But eating it hurts my heart, in more ways than one.

Last week, I got an assignment for Composition class: watch the Netflix documentary The Game Changers. And change my game it did, y’all.

I can’t unsee it or unthink it: we’re not meant to eat meat. As you learn the reasons why, it all makes sense in a way that will make you want to scream like a goat. Combined with everything else I’ve learned in my Environmental Science class this semester, I was KO’d.

For a long time now, I have had meat-free days. One day at a time, I’ll refuse to eat animals. I know any kind of abstinence is helpful to our health and the planet.

But the movie radicalized me, so I’ve been eating like a herbivore and, honestly, it’s not so bad! My energy levels are legit (you saw me at con), I’m finding fun foods to eat, and I feel better — physically, sure, but emotionally and spiritually, too.

I’m still doing by-products. I love honey and butter and nobody has convincingly argued that cows do not like being milked.

Going forward, I do forsee a little more balance. I don’t think I’ve eaten my last piece of meat. Maybe I’ll shift to meat once or twice a week. I’ve read counter-arguments to the evidence presented in Game Changers and criticism of its biases, and some of it is more credible than others.

But I would LOVE it if some of you gave the film a watch (or maybe you already have!) and let me know what you think. It did a really good job of appealing to my scientific and logical side, but also to the emotional, hypocritical monster that dwells and mopes inside of me.

If you need me, I’ll be outside on your lawn, eating grass with the wild rabbits. I am so sorry for being so annoying.

Twin Cities Con 2024

November 10th, 2024

It’s been said by people way smarter than I am that we should “find community” this week and be with each other. Twin Cities Con couldn’t have happened at a better time.

(A special thank you to the peerless TCC gang who make this show one of my favorite weekends of the year, every year.)

I am so blessed to be a part of this community. I sincerely don’t know why you tolerate me, but I’m filled with gratitude for that, and for you. You get me and that is no small thing. The number of people who checked in on me for the pair of posts I made the day after the election was unexpectedly sweet (but I’m fine, I’m totally fine, do I not sound like a person who is fine?).

Living among them, it’s interesting how artists seem to have a similar set of beliefs, at least from my experience. It’s not political or religious, and it isn’t a common background; our experiences and personalities are as different as our work.

It’s our empathy. More specifically: that we have way too fucking much of it.

When the artists are telling you to be concerned about something, you should be concerned about it. They know. The artists always know, and they’ve always known, since the beginning of humanity.

We know because of that empathy. It’s how we make sense of everything. It’s how we create your favorite songs. Write words that make you laugh or cry (or both). Punch you in the gut with emotional revelations (and pick you up after). Draw and paint and act and move in ways that move you in ways you can’t explain, but somehow make this life worth living.

I just appreciate being able to sit next to all of you.

Thank you.

If you’re tearing up thinking about us, too, then you’re probably an artist. And if you’re wondering “why is this blubbering bitch getting emotional over a bunch of nerds?” then it’s likely you’re not. And if you’re wondering why I would ruin a post like this with that last sentence, then you don’t know me at all.

Look: things don’t look or feel great right now. But I, for one, am ready to be a listener and a leader. I have your backs just like you have mine. What’s coming might really suck and be really bad, but you know what won’t suck or be bad?

Our community, and our art. We’re going to create the best work of our lives, and it’s going to save you, me, and everyone we know. We’ve gotta believe that. Right?

Because right here, and right now, we’re the only ones who do. Who believe, who dream, who act, who care, who know.

Love you guys.

Let’s go.

It’s TCC Time!

November 7th, 2024

I can’t believe it’s here, but this weekend is the fourth annual Twin Cities Con at the Minneapolis Convention Center!

I have a table (you’ll find me at G7 in artist’s alley), I’ll have my books and what’s left of my indomitable spirit, and I’ll be doing two panels, one each on Saturday and Sunday. I get to hang out with the other writers of Otherworldly: Volume 1!

Look, it’s been a weird week, and I would really love to see and connect with you all. This convention is one of my absolute favorites, the vibes are warm like cocoa, and you’ll find plenty of reasons to smile.

Be there.

HOURS:

Friday, November 8: 12 pm to 7 pm
Saturday, November 9: 10 am – 7 pm
Sunday, November 10: 10 am – 5 pm

PANELS:

Publishing Today 
Saturday, November 9
11:30 – 1:15 – Hyatt Mirage (Panel 6)
Join Jeri Red Shepherd, Justin Rose, and Dennis Vogen as they hold an open discussion on the state of independent and traditional writing and publishing today. Explore the tools, the genres, the numerous book formats available to authors today, industry changes, and how to identify the right paths for you.

Ask Me Anything Author Panel
Sunday, November 10
4 – 4:45 PM – Room 200A (Panel 1)
Got a burning question about writing, publishing, or the author business? Join Chad Corrie, TR Nickel, Darby Harn, Dennis Vogen, Joe Prosit, Ivy Ru, and Jeri Red Shepherd as they take your questions and make this a panel that you direct while learning more about this unique creative industry.

Bye Bye Bye

November 6th, 2024

Oh, boy. Woof. After a tumultuous few days (though, let’s be honest, it’s really been years), starting tomorrow I will be blocking specific people from my social media accounts. It’s not a small amount.

Before I do that, however, I want to explain myself and give you a chance to read it. You know, before I block you.

To absolutely nobody’s surprise, my stance on Donald Trump over the past decade has made me a target for comments and messages that range from annoying to honestly pretty insane. I make decisions on how to deal with them on a case-by-case basis. I usually choose to remain in these people’s peripheral because I don’t think anybody should live in a bubble, myself included.

Well… no more.

At this point, I have to take care of me and the people I care most about, and to be honest, I don’t think the people who have made Trump (and hate) their entire personalities deserve to have me in their digital life anymore. They deserve the people who think just like them, who will betray them at the first whiff of weakness or wokeness, whose only loyalty lies within.

If you’re wondering why I don’t just turn everything from public to private, I have a reason for that, too. I think my writing is important, especially the essays on sobriety and grief, and I want people on the internet who need them to be able to find them. I know what it’s like to stumble onto something at the moment I really need it, and to be able to be that source of comfort or strength to someone else is why I write and share at all.

A few haters shouldn’t ruin that for everyone.

So, to be clear: this is absolutely personal. If I block you, I did it for a reason and I will not miss you nor the negative impact you have made on my life or potential impacts you and your beliefs will make on my loved ones’ lives.

I will still be over here, practicing radical empathy and believing in fairy tales in this new dystopia, like being nice to others, embracing different cultures, championing education, and supporting women and people in the LGBTQ+ communites. You know, just being a menace to society, just like I always have — but now with a little more room to breathe.

Keep fighting.

The Day After Tomorrow

November 4th, 2024

As anxious as I am for tomorrow, I’m even more anxious for another day.

The day after tomorrow.

By that I mean that all of this doesn’t end when the last ballot is counted. When we say this is an election like no other, it’s not hyperbole, or the political version of The Bachelor claiming that every new season is “the most. Dramatic. EVER.”

This is different because now we know exactly where everyone stands, but the ground isn’t political; it’s different because politics today aren’t politics at all.

The way things used to be, if red won, blue would sigh (or if blue won, red would sigh) and then we’d get back to it, living and working in this country together. We would integrate ourselves until the next big game.

I don’t see how that’s possible anymore.

You and I have heard and seen things that we find ethically corrupt, morally reprehensible, and impossible to accept or ignore anymore. Not once. Countless times, over countless moments and hours and rallies and years. And we’ve seen other people accept, embrace, and celebrate those same terrible things.

Regardless of who wins, nobody sighs. This isn’t the type of shit that people let go. Over the past nine years, relationships between strangers and acquaintances and co-workers and friends and couples and families have been destroyed, not from politics, but from the worst parts of humanity being exposed in the false names of politics and party and beliefs and country.

I personally have relationships that will never be same. I don’t know many people who don’t.

And this feeling doesn’t end after everyone gets their red sticker.

My greatest hope is that the temperature does go down, enough that we’re able to talk to each other again, and move our feet to find some common ground, and even clear up some of the misconceptions that we certainly have for each other.

But let’s be honest: most of us just know too much now to go back. And it’s complicated: some of us pay more attention than others, and some of us are ignorant of issues or misinformed or don’t really care at all, and the social media of it all doesn’t help. (If anyone is familiar to oversharing on social media to the detriment of their own image, it’s the guy writing this essay.)

I don’t have a neat bow to write here. No hopeful final sentence to tie on top. Just a severe case of anxiety, a mild case of questioning my sobriety at a moment like this, and a sincere wish that I’ll be wrong, and the day after tomorrow we’ll all just sigh, and then get back to it.

Inktober 2024

Sun

November 2nd, 2024

My Illustrator class had us participate in #Inktober this year! We only had to choose eight prompts, but I had a blast, putting a Pokémon spin on my picks.

Before this year, I rarely ever used Illustrator, self-teaching myself Photoshop to get any and every project done. Learning it (and especially the pen tool…) has been both a challenge and really rewarding, and I see myself using it frequently in the future.

Fun fact: my favorite Pokémon is Marill. Now you know.

Camera
Snacks
Camp
Roam
Horizon
Rhinoceros
Journal

The Anti-Hero

October 21st, 2024

It’s me. Hi. I’m the enemy within. It’s me.

It is really interesting to me how failing to address alienation in this country has exponentially produced more alienation. Allow me to explain?

One the reasons social and political experts have given for the rise of Donald Trump is the alienation so many people in the middle and lower classes feel towards the American government and systems in general. He saw the vulnerability and potential in those groups and has exploited them, again and again and again.

By doing so, he formed something more than a political party. He created a cult.

He picked up a line that existed between people and the systems, and he placed it between people and people.

It’s a tactic as old as humanity, and we as a society were ripe to fall for it. Half of us did.

I’ve written about gossip before, but I want to again highlight one of its purposes. We bring up what’s happening in the world with our family, friends and neighbors because we want to know what kind of people they are. We want to see if they react to situations like or unlike we do. We want to hear their thoughts, to try to understand how they think.

It is very difficult to wake up every day and see all the abhorrent things Donald Trump does, hear all the hateful, ignorant and sometimes nonsensical things Donald Trump says, feel the effect his bigotry and hate has on the world around us, witness the countless political, financial and legal battles he’s lost, and have to nod our heads when other people say he’s a good or even normal man.

It alienates us.

From each other.

He’s been saying for weeks now that he plans to use the military against our own people, the folks he calls “the enemy within.” This is anybody who disagrees with him. Who dissent. People like me.

Remember that he used the same people who distrust the government to take control of it.

In his rallies, he regularly calls us a failing country. He says that our home has never been in worse shape.

Well, I disagree. I dissent. I think America is still a place of kindness and strength and ingenuity and, most of all, despite everything, a place of hope.

And this point of view makes me an enemy.

Maybe this will be one of my last posts. (Are you crossing your fingers?) Maybe I’ll get arrested for this occasion of free speech in two weeks’ time.

But the good news for you, if you feel alienated from this essay? You won’t ever have to hear from me again.

Vote.

Four Years / Natural

October 16th, 2024

If you feel a little lonely, you’re not alone in that, and it’s natural to feel.

My mom made sure I knew that.

She’s been gone four years today.

My dad got married last weekend. It was a beautiful day. I was the minister of their wedding. I got a lot of questions about my part in it, but the one I got most was: why?

It’s a great question. Sharp. To the point.

And I thought the answer was complicated, but it’s not.

When I was growing up, my mom would check in on me frequently and ask me specifically if I was feeling lonely. I’ve wondered why and I think it’s because being alone was one of her fears. Like funny people who make you laugh because they don’t want you to feel the same desperate way they do inside, I think a lot of what we say and do is to defend ourselves against the shadows that are stitched to our feet.

She wanted me to know that even if I felt lonely, it was okay. It’s a thing that everybody feels. But if I am feeling it, she wanted to remind me that she was here. That I’m not really ever alone.

Something that I really focus on with my sobriety is the idea that I never want to be the reason that somebody else fails. I want to give what I can, offer my tools, do anything within my power to help others succeed.

I gave my blessing and was the minister at my dad’s wedding because my mom told us that we should never be alone. She reminded me to give what I could, offer my services, and use my power to generate connection and joy. She insisted on hugs and games and the dirtiest jokes you’ve never heard. (That was a deaf joke, in her honor.)

If you feel a little lonely, you’re not alone. It’s as natural as the unnatural feeling that surfaces when someone we love disappears. We owe it to ourselves to hold those feelings up to the light and examine them. To check in with the people we love who carry them. And to not stop the cycle of feelings, the ones that grow after we allow the soil to restore itself, the happiness and laughter and strength we thought we had lost forever.

Everything grows back. It’s all totally natural.