The Loop

November 3rd, 2021 Do you ever feel like you’re in a loop? ?pool a ni er’uoy ekil leef reve uoy oD I hear it a lot. “Every day feels the same.” When a TV show lasts a long time, it tends to turn off viewers for a variety of reasons. Yet, somehow, people are usuallyContinue reading “The Loop”

The Temporal Buffet

November 1st, 2021 When you’re paying attention, even the most mundane details can illuminate personal progress. Last weekend, after a day spent doing that business-art thing, some of us went out to a Mongolian grill. I hadn’t been to one in a while, but the premise is simple: fill up a bowl of fresh andContinue reading “The Temporal Buffet”

So What

October 20th, 2021 Almost four years ago, when I started writing about things that people generally don’t talk about on the internet, it was scary. I remember laying in a hospital bed and weighing the pros and cons of sharing these pieces of myself. There was a large part of me that felt like IContinue reading “So What”

The Monster

October 15th, 2021 I wrote this weeks ago, but this has been a difficult one to let go into the world. As of tomorrow, the 16th, my mom has been gone for one whole orbit around the sun. In that year, I’ve told a lot of stories about her and how I feel some daysContinue reading “The Monster”

float on

October 8th, 2021 It’s spooky season, so it’s finally appropriate that everything feels so ephemeral to me. Sometimes loss feels like weight, but lately it has felt like nothing at all, smoke that used to be wood that you realize you never could have actually carried forever. That scares me. When I was young, IContinue reading “float on”

Softer Ways

October 7th, 2020 It’s rough out there. I just wanted to share some affirmations with you that help me when I remember to stop, take a breath, and think about them. Which I wish I did more, but it’s really rough out there, and I’m spreading myself as thin as I can, trying to keepContinue reading “Softer Ways”

Something > Nothing

September 28th, 2021 Someone close to me shared a video of a TED Talk about anxiety yesterday morning. I am nothing if not consistently anxious; if anxiety were an electrical current, I am always at a level where you would receive a static shock if you tapped on my shoulder. Beyond describing the different formsContinue reading “Something > Nothing”

buoy

September 17th, 2021 I was trying to describe how it can feel to open up to someone tonight and it felt oddly comforting to find the words and say them. It was about why someone who is hurting may not reach out to another person who is hurting, too, but might rather seek to speakContinue reading “buoy”

Dark Dreams

September 10th, 2021 “I know this sounds like a happy, impossibly perfect ending, but it’s not. I have to work really hard for this. It’s not easy to talk. It’s not easy to ask for help. It’s not easy to accept that others want to help. Like cancer, there is always the fear that itContinue reading “Dark Dreams”

It Should (Not) Have Been Me

September 9th, 2021 There can be an odd guilt with grief that, if understood, can actually be a good thing. I often talk about all these tools I’ve learned as an adult, sober person, but I usually refer to them in the abstract. One of the specific tools I have to take out of theContinue reading “It Should (Not) Have Been Me”