August 9th, 2021 I like everything. This isn’t true, of course. In fact, if you’ve ever played Nickelback in my presence you are well aware there are things I actively dislike. But I’m told this a lot because, generally, when people start shitting all over something, I am one of the first to try toContinue reading “How You Remind Me”
Tag Archives: Adulthood
Live Free or Drive Hard
August 4th, 2021 Hi. Today I would like to talk to you about seatbelts. Even if you wear a seatbelt, you can die if you get in a car accident. So, please: stop wearing seatbelts, because my anecdotal evidence, my opinion, is more true than what Big Automobile and car safety professionals will ever tellContinue reading “Live Free or Drive Hard”
Special, Magical, One-Of-A-Kind Being
August 2nd, 2021 You are a special, magical, one-of-a-kind being. But this isn’t one of those fluff “You are a special, magical, one-of-a-kind being” pieces. No, I bring evidence to my parties and you’re about to be handed some. There are some skills that are obvious, rare and undeniably cool. Successful chainsaw juggling, for instance.Continue reading “Special, Magical, One-Of-A-Kind Being”
A Query of Relativity
July 29th, 2021 To most people, a floor is a floor. It’s the bottom, the thing we stand on relative to the rest of the world, which rises above us. When we open our social media apps or just contemplate our place in the universe, we generally enter on the floor. We look up andContinue reading “A Query of Relativity”
Eat Us
July 26th, 2021 The reason that modern youth seem so supremely defiant now is because at no previous time in human history has it been so apparent that adults have no idea what the hell they are doing. Adults used to be able to hide behind the fact that we didn’t know what stupid thoughtsContinue reading “Eat Us”
Heartbreak Weather
July 15th, 2021 I’m still on the Old Chicago email list. For more than a few months, when I’d open one, I would feel heartbreak for what I lost. After a while, though, I would start to feel a new kind of heartbreak; I’d think of all the things I would have never experienced ifContinue reading “Heartbreak Weather”
Tangled
July 14th, 2021 There was a fun anniversary yesterday that I kept thinking on but never got around to posting about. On July 13th, 2003, I had my high school graduation party, and The Next Step released their first EP, called Tangled Cords. I know 18 years seems like a random and not very seminalContinue reading “Tangled”
Visible At Night
July 5th, 2021 Whenever I felt invisible, my mom used to remind me I wasn’t. That sounds stupid to say, but it’s true, and now on days when I feel invisible sometimes I worry I won’t be found by anybody. It is very easy to look up at the sky and be impressed by aContinue reading “Visible At Night”
Cats Giving Men Fish
June 23rd, 2021 If you want to make an adult suspicious, be nice to them. That sounds counterintuitive, but it’s not. Common wisdom tells us that as we get older, we are required to become less naive, more cautious, and to refrain from being blindly kind to people in order to prove to others thatContinue reading “Cats Giving Men Fish”
2%
June 21st, 2021 Sometimes it takes an animal’s perspective to help us understand our own lives; the way that humans tend to overcomplicate things often gets in the way of seeing them clearly. This has become very apparent as I finish up hundreds of pages of squirrel research. I have fun facts for days (IContinue reading “2%”
The Den 