November 7th, 2022 “I don’t know if I’m strong; I think I’m just numb.” – Khloe Kardashian Today — and this week, and this year, and the past handful of years — I wonder how many of us have been embodying this Khloe Kardashian quote. I don’t know the difference between strong and numb someContinue reading “I’m Becoming This”
Tag Archives: Recovery
Admission of Hypocritical Guilt
October 30th, 2022 I completed my self-assigned course on the history of philosophy tonight, and as I turned the last pages in the final book of my “class,” my stomach did a turn, as well. I made a terrible realization. I’ve written about philosophy several times lately; namely, how stupid it is. This is whyContinue reading “Admission of Hypocritical Guilt”
Could I BE More Grateful?
October 28th, 2022 Like the handful of other Americans who still sit down to watch broadcast TV live in the evening, we watched the Matthew Perry interview with Diane Sawyer tonight. I don’t think I can properly express my gratitude for him or my feelings over what he spoke about. It was mostly about addiction,Continue reading “Could I BE More Grateful?”
Just Another Day
October 16th, 2022 It’s just another day. It’s football day. My dread is warmer than usual, my anxiety sharper. It’s not just another day. My dad legally divorced the Minnesota Vikings in 1998 over an incident neither he nor millions of other sports fans had any control over. My mom stayed committed to them. ThatContinue reading “Just Another Day”
The Kind Monster
September 6th, 2022 Starting today, I’m going to be taking the rest of the month off from posting essays. I feel like you and I could use a break from each other, in a good way. I hope you’ll catch up on posts, if that’s your thing, or pick up some of my work andContinue reading “The Kind Monster”
I Am Not An Illusion
August 24th, 2022 Mystery is an amateur magic show. I get frequently asked why I tell people stuff on the internet. Like, the stuff you shouldn’t really tell people, the stuff people don’t talk about like I think they should, the stuff that is heavy or hard. I do it because I feel like weContinue reading “I Am Not An Illusion”
Not Too Little, Never Too Late
August 19th, 2022 When people get comfortable around me and my sobriety, they start to ask more complicated questions about it. The one they inevitably get to is: “Do you miss anything about drinking?” I do. Of course I do. Too much for a single post. But I want to talk about something that mightContinue reading “Not Too Little, Never Too Late”
A Kind Word & A Friendly Face
August 8th, 2022 “All they need is a kind word and a friendly face.” Kindness is like a thumb on a knot. I had a really insecure week. Not that the week wasn’t sure of what it was, but I’m not. I’ve just felt out of place and out of sorts, not myself, wobbly onContinue reading “A Kind Word & A Friendly Face”
Everyone as Puzzles
August 5th, 2022 A life’s journey is puzzling. I’ve made that idea near-literal. When you’re in recovery and an open book, people love to ask you about the ugliest parts of your story. “So what was your rock bottom?” I have never been fully comfortable with that phrase, at least when it comes to howContinue reading “Everyone as Puzzles”
Lowered Expectations
July 29th, 2022 Why is everyone so angry? It’s a tough question, but never fear, because I have the answer. No one’s going to read it, but I have it. Over the years, I’ve had to develop ways to deal with myself, because I am the worst. Perhaps the most important tool I’ve gained (besidesContinue reading “Lowered Expectations”
The Den 