The Temporal Buffet

November 1st, 2021

When you’re paying attention, even the most mundane details can illuminate personal progress.

Last weekend, after a day spent doing that business-art thing, some of us went out to a Mongolian grill. I hadn’t been to one in a while, but the premise is simple: fill up a bowl of fresh and raw ingredients, bring that bowl to a counter, and watch them grill your handpicked stir fry right before your eyes.

When I arrived, I was a little shell-shocked from the day and a lot hangry; I picked some imitation crab and spicy sausage and built a bowl on top of that.

It was good.

Now, usually, when I would go back to the line and start a new bowl, I would create something brand new. A new base, new meats, new veggies, new sauces.

This time, I decided to refine and elevate the original dish. I again chose imitation crab and spicy sausage, but now I used what I learned the first time to create something better. I got rid of what didn’t work, and added what I now knew would.

And you know what? It was amazing.

This isn’t about the way I eat. This is the way I work, too. Finish something fast and move on.

And it’s the way I live. I think there are a few of us that live this way. We spend a lot of our time ripping off band-aids: trying to get through our days as quickly as possible with the least possible scrapes and bruises.

We try not to live in moments, we fleet alongside time. We can find ourselves deeply in love with nostalgia, but only the moments that give us unadulterated joy; every other awkward, lonely, miserable scene we try to hit fast-forward on in our heads.

Just like I’ve been able to do with my own work this year (see: the special edition re-releases of my earliest books), this new ability to not only live in uncomfortable and imperfect moments, but find the best in them, has bled into real life. Into the way I eat, even.

I want to remember them. Learn from them. Cherish them. And reconcile every disparate moment of me into one whole ass person.

I don’t know what kind of unfortunate events I’ll be stumbling into tomorrow. But, in the weirdest possible way, I know I am hungry to find out. And that I will spend as long as I can living in them.

Them + Us: Special Edition

October 27th, 2021

Happy Wednesday, and Happy Them + Us: Special Edition Release Day!

With this, I now have every officially released book of mine back in print, and dang, that feels good.

In the video, I talk about why I did this and what Them and Us mean to me. Just like Flip, I created this story at a time when I was just as creative but lacked the clarity that I have now.

( You can check out the video on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/jZs4spRlc4o )

Being able to take these novellas that I love and not change them, but enhance and sharpen them, has been an absolute joy. Being able to read these as a fan has been a remarkable experience. Being able to bring them back into the light has allowed me to reconcile parts of myself in the process.

Them + Us Special Edition is available now in eBook, paperback, and hardcover editions.

You can check it out (and I hope you do!) at the link here:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09KF498K2?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860

#NerdinOutCon3 Recap

October 24th, 2021

Towards the end of the last day of NerdinOut Con III in Rochester, one of my new friends from Artist Alley came over to my table.

He wasn’t sure if I had noticed, but a girl had just been literally jumping up and down with her latest purchase, beyond excited over the book she just discovered. That book was The Weirdos.

That was the feeling I took with me as I left the convention today.

Not just the kind of love and pride you get when someone digs and really gets what you do, but the example my fellow artist set: he wanted me to know that he saw someone appreciate my work, and that is the kind of immensely supportive community we have in this state, and my appreciation for the people here will never be adequately or eloquently stated.

(By the way, the artist who told me this is Christopher K, and I mention him by name because he is one of the most exciting artists I have recently had the pleasure of meeting.)

All the thanks go where they need to go: the volunteers, organizers, and fans. You are the only way good experiences happen.

Whenever someone figures that the writer of the book about a dog who tries to escape an animal shelter probably isn’t doing this as his main income (c’mon, Netflix, this is ripe for adaptation), they ask me what my day job is.

And then they often ask what the difference between working in a restaurant and working at a con is.

In a restaurant, it’s all about someone else’s menu and someone else’s food and drink. At a con, I spend all day trying to sell me. When someone doesn’t like the chicken fingers, that’s easy to let go; when someone doesn’t like something that’s a part of me, it can be more complex and even hurtful. Conversely, when someone likes or loves what you do, there is absolutely no other feeling in the world like it.

With both jobs, it can be rewarding, it is mentally and emotionally exhausting, and at the end of the day you are sweaty and stinky. Also, lots of people.

If you came out to any of the three conventions during my “tour” this fall, THANK YOU. Sincerely. It was amazing to meet each and every one of you for the first time, or all over again.

All my love.

P.S. Stay tuned for the encore.

This Weekend: NerdinOut Con III

October 22nd, 2021

The final convention of the season (and last stop of my tour) is here!!

This Saturday and Sunday, October 23rd and 24th, I will be at the Mayo Civic Center in Rochester for NerdinOut Con III, and I am terribly excited for it.

VIPs will be able to get in at 10 am, and it opens both days to the public at 11 am; on Saturday we’re driving it until the wheels come off at 8 pm, and we’ll take it a little easier Sunday morning, signing off at 3 pm.

I’ll have my near-entire body of work available, which I had to restock after the last two very successful conventions. I realize there’s a lot of reasons they were so remarkable, but finally having so much to actually offer at my table has changed the game significantly, and meeting people who have actually read and love this stuff has been the time of my life. (Even meeting the people who tell me my work isn’t for them. They’re actually pretty legit.)

Some inventory is super low, like the MN Nice mugs, and once they’re gone, they are gone. Remember: I have deals once you buy more than one thing, so stock up! The holidays are right around the corner, and who doesn’t want to give their loved ones a signed book written by a local author that you actually, like, know in real life?!

As far as pop culture talk at my table is concerned, I’ve seen Dune and Halloween Kills, I’m caught up on every DC and Marvel TV show (and my weekly comics), I’ve seen this week’s Bachelorette and I’ve watched all of Squid Game and Only Murders in the Building. So my table is a SPOILER-FILLED ZONE. Be cautious, be prepared, and let’s talk about it.

Sending you all some ❤, via my hands and my clothing. See you tomorrow. All my love.

So What

October 20th, 2021

Almost four years ago, when I started writing about things that people generally don’t talk about on the internet, it was scary.

I remember laying in a hospital bed and weighing the pros and cons of sharing these pieces of myself.

There was a large part of me that felt like I had already alienated the people I knew. I’ve done my unfair share of posting things that make me cringe in retrospect, as do a lot of us who became of age as the internet itself did. It was the wild west and some of us rarely won.

In a way, the idea that most of the people in my life probably didn’t care what I had to say made me feel a little freer, the process of doing it less important.

But I did it because I felt like it was important. I wanted to write about the things that I wanted to read about, about the things that I wasn’t just thinking, but feeling.

I wanted to give away my secrets.

I knew I couldn’t do it alone. So I sought out other art that inspired me to do the same. A song called “Secrets,” by Mary Lambert, would play in my head on repeat when I was feeling nervous about revealing anything about myself. In it she sings:

“They tell us from the time we’re youngTo hide the things that we don’t like about ourselves

To hide the things that we don’t like about ourselves

Inside ourselves

I know I’m not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else

I’m over it

I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are”

It’s a sentiment easy to sing along to, but difficult to do. We are taught that secrets hold power. Adults tell us this, governments tell us this, history tells us this.

But they’re all wrong.

They tell us to keep things to ourselves because sharing ourselves and connecting to each other gives us power. When we tell each other how our lives really are, it often contradicts what the people who hoard secrets say.

So what does that say?

If you worry that telling too much will destroy your mystery and make you boring, let me assure you that every human is born with at least 10,000 good secrets, at least as many lakes in the state.

And your true self will always be more interesting than the person we never knew.

[ A link to Mary Lambert’s “Secrets”: https://youtu.be/cqqqV50zaAc ]

The Visitor’s Guide to the Vogenverse, and its Capital City of Faribault

October 18th, 2021

By now, the idea of a shared universe (or a multiverse) is a commonly known one. Comic book companies like Marvel and DC dived into the concept that their characters did not live in a vacuum; they were neighbors, friends, lovers, and enemies, and they inhabited the same world, affecting one another just like we do in our own lives.

So I get regularly asked: do all of my books inhabit the same universe? The Vogenverse, if you will? (I just made that up, but it’s fun, right?)

I will say this: sometimes I have explicitly stated that two works are related, and other times heavily implied it. To help the inquisitive reader, I have broken down the connections by book, trying to avoid any spoilers.

Them + Us

This is where the Vogenverse began. According to the first line in the book, the present story takes place in 2011, though the timeline shifts over hundreds of years.

We know Kim is from a small, southern Minnesota town, but not until the sequel, Us, does Kim actually confirm she is from Faribault specifically, for the first time putting a name to my New York or Castle Rock.

Flip + Push

I wrote Flip between Them and Us, and I knew I wanted to give a wink to the series. During a dream in chapter 11, Liam says:

“Another is a cute redhead who’s my favorite employee at Dairy Queen.”

That redhead is Kim, thus confirming that Kim and Liam not only live in the same town, but that Liam actually knows Kim, or is at least aware of her. The name Faribault is not used in this series of books, but there are many, many references, especially in Push, including a scene where Liam and Regan walk the graveyard formally known as the Faribo West Mall, referencing at least three specific stores by name.

The Weirdos

This book has the most explicit references to Faribault. Since the story takes place in 2020, that puts it almost a decade after the stories told in the Them and Flip series.

Ashley lives in Faribault, becomes the Flying Squirrel on the rooftops of downtown, and works for Green Comics, which is based in town. We meet Axis at her favorite fictional Faribault coffee shop, Helen of Chai, and she lives in an apartment above it.

Moe, who works at the Minnesota Zoo, lives in the south suburbs; you can see him at a church in Burnsville in a panel. However, the panel below that one has the Blue Ringer swinging from the bottom of the viaduct.

Das lives in space, duh. Though where he lived on Earth has not been revealed.

Theia

This book has the greatest possible connection to my other work, and not a single person has asked me about it.

There is a major twist halfway through the story that generally has thrown people for a loop in a really delightful way. I do very little to explain the twist, and intentionally; I don’t feel like the “why” is important to the story, and the reader can use their imagination to fill it in.

However: if you’ve read Us, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation to what is happening. Trust me. I can’t say it was intentional (the story for Theia already existed in me and I made the connection later), but that doesn’t make it any less plausible.

Brushfire

Though this graphic novel is still being created, some of its story elements have been revealed, including the fact that the wildlife in Brushfire live under Central Park in Faribault. There are references to and locations in the city abound.

And there you have it. There is a Vogenverse. (Name still pending, obvs.) I did not reveal all the connections here on purpose, because that’s part of the fun. I hope you’re able to make a few yourself.

And speaking of Them + Us: expect the Special Edition to be available very soon…

The Monster

October 15th, 2021

I wrote this weeks ago, but this has been a difficult one to let go into the world.

As of tomorrow, the 16th, my mom has been gone for one whole orbit around the sun.

In that year, I’ve told a lot of stories about her and how I feel some days and how I deal and sometimes don’t deal with losing one of the most special people I have ever known.

Today isn’t going to be any different. Not really.

The core emotion I’ve felt for nearly every second of the last 365 days is a loneliness that I haven’t ever known before.

Being who I am (and knowing who I can be when I try to hide or run away from things), I’ve thought a lot about why this lonely felt different.

When I first got sober almost four years ago, my mom was really funny when it came to how she would talk to me about it. She would gently ask about how I was doing, or gingerly inquire what I had done the night before. She would be surprised, every time, for a long time, when I told her I still hadn’t drank. Not even one.

From an outsider’s perspective, it would appear that she didn’t have faith that I could do it, for any number of reasons.

But that wasn’t it.

I knew it was because she wanted me to know that she was going to love me no matter if or when I failed.

And that’s when I figured it out.

My mom is the only human connection on this planet that I had that was not conditional. What I mean by that is: every other relationship I have depends on what I do or say or don’t do or don’t say.

And it is exhausting. I am so tired some days from being the person that I think people need me to be, because I live in constant fear of being abandoned.

We say we love people unconditionally but that is mostly untrue. For example: how often do we tell others to cut people out of their life who do not serve them, who do not add anything positive to their daily existence?

“But, Dennis,” you say, “we set boundaries and remove people from our lives to protect ourselves and for our mental and emotional health.”

Yeah. I know. And by doing that, you make every relationship you have conditional, on the grounds that the people in your life have to add value to it.

My mom did not have those rules in place for me. We existed outside of normal time and space. It wasn’t that she wasn’t proud of me. She was the proudest mom ever and I know because I have rarely felt like I have accomplished much, while she reminded me how much I had done. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in me. I wouldn’t even know how to pretend to be as confident in myself and my abilities if she hadn’t done it first.

No, she wanted me to know that, regardless of who I was or am or will be, no matter what I’ve said or done, she unconditionally loved me, but more poignantly, she loved the monster that lives inside of me.

Now that she’s gone, I find myself working overtime to make sure all my conditional relationships get their needs met, regardless of my requirements, sometimes to my detriment. Because I lost the one relationship I could never lose, and every other seems to have its heels on the edge.

But while it sounds abysmal, it’s not.

I feel like this because I received proof that unconditional love is real. I know it, because I lost it. And because it’s real, and because I know what it feels like, it means it can be real and be felt again.

Just maybe not today.

I won’t tell you to hug your mom today, because those kinds of sentiments are meaningless unless you come up with them yourselves. But if you feel inspired to tell somebody you love them, no matter what, and you’re on the fence about actually doing it: this is your sign. Do it.

Do it with abandon, because you care, because the relationships in your life that you will never get over are the ones that have no conditions and need no boundaries.

It was another year around the sun. This time, without the sun.

Dry Ink

October 14th, 2021

Over the past almost four years, I have received hundreds of messages about two big parts of my life: publishing books, and sobriety.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how similar accomplishing those two things are for me.

So I made a list of what I’ve done, and how it applies to both how I publish books and how I stay sober.

– You Have To Want It

This seems obvious, but it’s true and it’s the number one reason I see people around me fail to accomplish what they set out to do. It’s not the only reason; things can stand in your way that are out of your control and make your life feel more difficult or unmanageable.

But there will always be moments when you ask yourself: “Do I really want this?” And instead of just answering yes or no, I have to remind myself of the reasons why.

– Focus on Each Day

It’s easy to be overwhelmed, whether it’s thinking about the 80,000 words you want to write to fill your novel (which is almost always too many words, in my opinion), or comparing yourself to the person who has decades of sobriety.

Each author who has written a book and each person who has remained sober, no matter how many books they have published or years they have decided to not take a drink, had to do it one day at a time.

So focus on writing 500 words today. Try to write any words at all. Focus on making choices that lead towards your goal, no matter how small the steps, and not away from it.

– Use Your Tools, and Learn New Ones

You don’t know what you don’t know, until you reach out and ask. Read books. Watch YouTube videos. Join groups. Speaking of…

– Talk To People Who Are Like You

I cannot stress this one enough, as being a writer and being a sober person can be incredibly lonely sometimes.

Once you discover that there is a multiverse of people just like you, the whole game changes. My existence broke, realigned itself, and grew back stronger than ever when I found communities and teams of people where I not only belonged, but I was wanted. I was able to get beyond surviving and finally begin to thrive.

– Mentor Others

Speaking of communities: they only get stronger as we grow together. I’m not able to help everybody or save anybody, but whenever I am asked to or allowed to share my experiences in the hope that it can help somebody else accomplish their goals, I try to. And I encourage anyone who has been through stuff to give that knowledge away to someone who might need it.

– Have Fun

Whenever I’m stressed (and I am stressed a lot), I remind myself of Spider-Man. No matter what is happening, even when it’s life or death, he’s cracking jokes. And my life is rarely so dramatic, so I can afford to have fun with it. I know laughing so you don’t cry is a cliché, but most clichés exist because they’re true.

I could probably come up another dozen steps I take to get closer to the person I want to be, but I feel like these are a good start, and the ones I think about and practice the most.

Sharing them is the least I can do, and could be the thing someone most needs to hear.

You’ll believe a man can… be absolutely anything, and that is the most inspiring thing of all.

October 13th, 2021

I love it when something happens in the comic book world that reverberates in the real one. Especially when the reactions to said news go right ahead and prove the point being made in the first place.

Of course, I’m talking about my homeboy Jon Kent, the new Superman, coming out as bisexual this week.

Which I think is absolutely brilliant, but only because I am a brainwashed idiot, a “woke liberal” fool who believes in all love, in inclusivity, and wakes up every day wanting to embody radical empathy.

The reactions have been big. You have generations of people who burst into tears upon reading the news, some of whom wishing they would have had this representation growing up, some beyond thrilled that they have this representation in a major hero now.

And then you have the other side.

And their reactions range from absurd to absolutely hilarious.

One of the common refrains in comment sections: “JON KENT HAS *CLEARLY* BEEN STRAIGHT UP UNTIL NOW.”

And I, an avid comic book fan, wonder what they mean by that. Did Jon enter rooms by introducing himself and then declaring his straightness? Because that doesn’t seem right. Is it because he’s been attracted to girls? I hate to break it to you, but that’s what “bisexual” means. Additionally, there are many people who, before they decided to come out, dated people opposite their sex for a variety of reasons that are none of your business.

And character-wise, this just makes sense. Jon loves everyone. He sees the best in all people. And for it to coincide romantically absolutely tracks.

And for everyone confusing Jon for his father, Clark? Go home. Your blatant ignorance and desire to be mad about just about anything is exhausting.

The complaints screaming “comics are for children!” are just as exhausting, and old. Comics are an art form. They are for everybody: young, old, straight, gay, every color and kind of folk in the universe. And growing up, nearly everything I watched had a romantic plot within it. So are you upset about romance in “kid’s stuff”? Because that’s always been there. You must be mad at something else.

In the end, the good comic book heroes have taught generations of people the difference between right and wrong.

They teach us how to be brave, and strong, and inclusive, and compassionate, and empathetic, and they remind us over and over again how every individual is priceless.

Jon Kent is the hero of our times.

Just a Poor Boy

October 11th, 2021

Galileo was more than a line in a Queen song.

In the early 1600’s, he and his contemporary Giordano Bruno were the kind of history that certain people would prefer we not remember.

You see, for a long time, it was common knowledge that the entire universe revolved around Earth. That’s what was believed during Aristotle’s time, and that was the idea the Church gave its authority on.

Everything revolves around us and that is final.

Until it wasn’t.

A scientist named Galileo, using some kind of modern devil technology known as a “telescope,” made a shocking discovery (at least at the time): our universe is heliocentric, meaning we actually revolve around our sun.

Galileo wished to teach this fact in school; the Church was very much against that, as this new information did not align with the Bible. In 1615, Galileo tried to make his case, the Church still refused to move, and threatened him to stop teaching his new doctrine or else. In 1616, Galileo fled and returned to Florence; though he was obviously disappointed, he knew he was lucky.

Because his contemporary, Giordano Bruno, went even further: he proposed that the universe was infinite, meaning not even our own sun was the center of it. He went so far as to state that ALL stars are also suns, which is true, as any schoolchild now can tell you.

When Bruno refused to back down from actual fact, the Church burned him at the stake. For real.

Eventually, they made Galileo live out the rest of his days under house arrest.

Don’t worry, there’s a happy ending here. The Church finally did recognize that we revolve around the sun. In 1992.

And in 2000, Pope John Paul II apologized for how Galileo had been treated. Almost 400 years later. I’m pretty sure Galileo was dead by then.

This is the kind of history we need to remember. Scientific ignorance and religious superiority are real. We have to be able to hold these stories up to the light, share them, and promise each other to not repeat what happened in them.

Because real history will judge us. Not the stuff we make up to make ourselves the heroes. The truth. The right thing.

And it seems like a good day to remember that.